The Ten Commandments
There are certain rules that all Morphopedians must follow. They are:
- Thou shalt not troll a Morphopedian IRC Channel.
- Thou shalt not enrage thy Superior Morphopedian.
- Thou shalt not steal from a fellow Morphopedian.
- Thou shalt not join the Freenode IRC channel [ #Morph3000-banned ] unless thou art either banned from one of the Freenode IRC Morph Channels, or if thou art a Morphopedian Officer.
- Thou shalt not kill a fellow Morphopedian.
- Thou shalt not lust for thy neighbour's Television.
- Thou shalt not listen to Justin Bieber's music.
- Thou shalt not lust for thy family blood.
- Thou shalt not lust after an aged person.
- Remember: do not let a bully at your school push you around, for it will surely be the undoing of your happy future.
The Fighter's Code of Honour
Below is a list of rules to follow when in a fight. To disobey these rules is to disregard your own honour.
- You are to never use a weapon against an unarmed opponent, unless said opponent is more than one being.
- You are to never team up against a singular opponent, unless said opponent is armed.
- If you are an adult, never hit a child. Defend yourself if they assault you, but do not cause any injuries.
- Eye-gouging must never be included in a fight.
- Hair pulling must never be included in a fight.
- 1-on-1 fights/arguments must remain 1-on-1. Keep your friends and/or family out of it.
- Biting must never be included in a fight.
- It is highly dishonourable to purposely aim for an opponents groin in a fight. If you strike the groin by accident, you must immediately apologise, or your opponent may strike you freely however many times you struck their groin.
- Using your nails to injure your opponent is strictly forbidden.
- Never fight an unarmed cripple because they're usually not strong enough to defend themselves.
- It is honourable to admit defeat. Too much pride can have negative results. If you are fighting a loosing battle where your life is not on the line, admit defeat and lose with honour.
- If a fight to the death is your only option, you may not fight dirty. If you die, you still remain your honour.
- You may only fight if it is in self-defense.
- You may only fight dishonourably if your opponent fights dishonourably, but only if your opponent makes the first dishonourable move.
The Legendary Rules
The following rules must be enforced regularly. Read them and memorise them.
The Morphopedian Rules
- It's only illegal if you get caught.
- It's only racist if you mean it. In some situations, you should say, "No racist".
- It's not gay if you say, "No Homo".
The Ultimate Rule
- Enactment of rape, suicide, and false claims of rape victimisation, are highly dishonourable, and Morphopedians who engage in such dishonour will go to their graves, labelled a Shol'va.
The Golden Rule
- For guys: It's okay when it's in a three-way. It's not gay when it's in a three-way. With a honey in the middle, it's a leeway. The area's great in a 1, 2, three-way.
- For girls: Never take more than one penis in the same hole at once.
The Platinum Rule
- It is forbidden to assault an infant child.
The Three Diamond Rules
- You should never trust a phone company that hires Indian people.
- You should never speak positively of someone without sincerity.
- You should never apologise to someone unless your apology is sincere.
Morphopedia's Religiously Holy Food
- Religious Toast
- Donuts of Peace
- Holy Oreos
- Holy Skittles
- Divine Popcorn
- Lasagne of the Gods
- Cookies of Destiny
- Steak of Royalty
- Pork of Religion
- Cheese of the Heavens
- Angelic Vegemite
The Seven Deadly Sins
- Sorrow: Do not become self-pitying, and do not self-harm.
- Fear: Fear is an illusion. Fear is not real. Fear is a choice. Chose to be unafraid.
- Stupidity: As stupidity is the result of poorly made decisions, it is a sin to make decisions which can lead to your lack of general intellect.
- Virginity: If someone with whom you wish to fornicate, feels mutually attracted to you, you must not let that opportunity pass you by.
- Over sensitivity: Your emotions can be controlled when needed, but you must learn to do this on your own.
- Anger: Do not let your anger overpower your will. Self-control is the ket to survival.
- Betrayal: To betray someone is to betray your honour. Avoid it at all costs.
Things that are Considered to Be Sinful
- It is sinful to eat fish when it has not been battered and deep-fried. If you eat a fish the healthy way, once you enter the Afterlife. you will be molested by Santa Claus every time you sleep.
- It is sinful to respect someone who does not respect you. If they disrespect you, return the favour.
- It is sinful to take advice from a person who does not follow their own advice, making them hypocrites.
- It is sinful to make the first move in a fight. Let your enemy make the first move. Then, and only then, you can beat up your enemy.
- It is sinful to disrespect someone who doesn't disrespect you. Treat people nicely unless you are given a reason not to.
Things to Include in your Daily Prayer
- At the end of each prayer, conclude the prayer with "And in conclusion to our/my prayer, we/I pray this to you, our Lord, Allah-Saurus (or Raptor Jesus) in the name of the Morph, the Raptor and the Rebel Spirit. Amen."
- During February, April, September, October and December, say "Rubba Chikanz" insead of "Rebel Spirit". This shows an acknowledgement of the celebrations happening.
- Always perform a prayer like this: "Dear Allah-Saurus (or Raptor Jesus)... we thank you for [whatever you're grateful for] and we also thank you for [whatever else you're grateful for, but wasn't as important as the first set of things you were grateful for]. And we only ask for [peace on Earth, strength to quit some addiction, etc.]. And in conclusion to our/my prayer, we/I pray this to you, our Lord, Allah-Saurus (or Raptor Jesus) in the name of the Morph, the Raptor and the Rebel Spirit (or Rubba Chikanz). Amen."